Partially because I'm up for any adventure that takes me to another town city state, etc... but mostly because we went to see chris pureka, nicole reynolds and lyndell montgomery perform in this fantastic little coffee shop/bar/cafe.
Chris Pureka is an amazing singer/songwriter/guitarist etc. Her voice stays with you and lingers in the best way possible. The most striking thing to me about watching her sing is how you see (and sometimes feel) what she feels in every song...even when her eyes are closed, as they often are. The anguish, suffering and heartache displayed; her soul bare-skinned and leafless, for everyone to see, in every song. It's such an intimate experience that I almost felt like a voyeur as I watched.
I think "Burning Bridges" was the most penetrating song, she even seemed to be a bit emotional as she finished singing. I can't imagine putting something so personal, so vulnerable, out there for others. Shared pain. Maybe that's why it affects so many people. We've all felt that kind of rejection and hurt and betrayal before. At least I think everyone has. I know I have, on both sides. Sometimes that song hurts too much to listen to and it's an emotional rollercoaster, especially when you are the one that has caused that pain for someone else. "I know you didn't mean to let me down/ but you let me down/ so hard" That's harsh. Those words sting, but not nearly as much as:
some fantasies are never meant to be realized at all
and some regrets could be prevented
if you read the writing on the wall
oh and sometimes you say "you know nothing can happen"
and then she leans over and lifts off your glasses
and the next thing you know you're just tangled and guilty
and you've got a head full of liquor and perfume
oh and when did you leave me
and when did you find her
and tell me is this just what you wanted...
That's salt in the wound for me. Realizing that I was living for the wrong fantasy (my socially acceptable relationship), and how all the pain and regrets could have been prevented if I had more courage then, to be who I am now. But I can't take all the blame, there were plenty of things that he knew and saw he just didn't want to accept. And then of course falling in love with someone and knowing how much that hurt him, but knowing this is me, this is what I've always wanted and I much as I respect and love him as a person, I have to love and respect myself equally.
Anyhow, I've lingered far too long on that topic...
All three are amazingly talented musicians. And pretty damn easy on the eyes. Nicole Reynolds is so petite...her small stature is nearly hidden by her guitar. her voice is sweet and delicate even when she throws out words like "bullshit" in the middle of a song. I pictured her as this tiny angelic girly girl, and while in fact she is tiny, she's femme butch all the way. Merging my perception of her appearance with her actual appearance was mind boggling... She played this song which doesnt seem to be on an album yet, but it was amazing, "Like the ocean". I had to help myself to her new album via itunes when I got home. Amy and I attempted to get a poster from Chris and a CD from Nicole while we were there but the line was forever long, so we figured we'd handle it all when we got home. Amy even sent Chris a letter and a check asking for a signed copy of her poster. I'm not sure how that will turn out, but Amy's optimistic, so I'm trying to be hopeful.
Lyndell Montgomery isn't someone I had listened to a lot, but I do enjoy her music. I listen to a few songs of hers, but mostly only those from when she was with Ember Swift. I'll probably listen to more now that I've heard her play live, that always seems to seal the deal for me... If i'm not a fan I usually become one. I hope to see at least one of these talented women at Michfest this summer... maybe all of them, a girl can dream right?
I guess that sums up last friday. From there things have been pretty crazy. We moved on Saturday. I drove out to Garner in a moving truck and got the rest of my belongings from my house out there. Then we unloaded all of that into the new place and then loaded up the truck a few more times to move from our old pad to our new pad, a staggering 1/2 block down the road. I have all my new students and the semester is off to a good start, and somehow we have managed to unpack and set up the new apartment, thanks in large part to Amy.
Last night we hosted and chaperoned a lock-in for queer youth at a church with very hard and uncomfortable floors. And, it's super cold in here. It's no wonder I found myself wide awake at 5 am and desiring to blog in an effort to keep my hands warm. The kids were great, they socialized and built a fort and ate spaghetti and played games. It was a good night. Now a few are starting to wake up and I think it's close to time for a cereal party. Fruity pebbles or Corn pops... hmmmm decisions decisions...
So now I'm thoroughly exhausted and the weekend isn't mine just yet. My mom is in twon for the weekend with some friends of hers and we'll have to meet up with her today sometime today. We're also looking forward to hearing the Homewreckers tonight at the Pinhook. Then maybe tomorrow I can devote the day to lounging around and planning for the upcoming week in school.
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